shingo2008

 Five thousand years of recorded history confirms that human societyendured before A/C was invented, but that doesn't mean they werehappy about it.

 Mr. Carrier, whose "Apparatus for Treating Air" waspatented in 1906, no doubt occupies a bejeweled throne in Paradise,surrounded by a host of angels and adoring cherubim. Thetemperature there is a celestial 70 degrees.

 There are, of course, a few who actually do without. There are,sadly, some who try to get by without paying the high bills thatair conditioning demands. And there are, incredibly, a few whodon't want it.

 Well, more power to ‘em (so to speak), but they shouldn'texpect a large and enthusiastic crowd at their next house party.

 It's hard not to pick a fight, though, with somebody who not onlydoesn't want to run his A/C, but doesn't want me to run mine,either.

 The sentiments on this topic by Time magazine columnist Joe Kleinwere brought to my attention the other day by local radio talk showhosts Ernie Brown and Jay McFarland, who were pretty much proposingto put the guy in a headlock and slap him senseless.

 The reason: Mr. Klein wrote a column a while back entitled"Kill Your Air Conditioner," in which he says we would bebetter and more virtuous Americans if we, as he does, lived withoutA/C.

 Actually, I have a lot of respect for Mr. Klein, a veteran nationalpolitical writer. His opinions tend to be sensible andwell-reasoned.

 Not this time.

 "[A]ir-conditioning is bad for the planet, and for nationalsecurity, and for our balance-of-payments deficit," he writes.

 "I'd like to see both [presidential] candidates call for animmediate 5 deg.F thermostat adjustment, just to get theconservation ball rolling – and because it would be a‘personal virtue' for each candidate to ask it of us,"he finishes. "And I'd like to wish you all a nice, warmersummer."

 I had the kind of summer he evidently envisions. Once. As a young,typically broke adult, I spent a blistering Austin summer living ina ragged, un-air-conditioned rent house. Every night, we would slapwet towels over ourselves to get to sleep, waking up every hour orso to soak the towels down again. I'm nostalgic about a lot ofthings, but not that.

 Mr. Klein, according to his biography, lives in Westchester County,N.Y., where the expected high temperature on Monday was 85 degrees(for those of you confined to subterranean silos, ours was expectedto reach 108). He does not say whether he intends to endure nextwinter without running the heat.

 I'm not insensible to the need for conservation. We've madevoluntary concessions at our house – sharing rides, usingDART, declining plastic bags, watching our water usage.

 Asking us to pull this particular plug, though, is asking too much.

 They'll get my A/C when they pry my cold, dead fingers off thethermostat.